Maybe you’ve been out of the dating game after being in a long-term relationship for several years. Or perhaps, you’ve moved to a new city where you don’t know anyone. You’d like to give dating another shot, but you’re dating self-confidence is at an all-time low.
Understanding the importance of self-confidence
According to dating coach Evan Marc Katz, confidence is vital, not only to attract men. More importantly, self-confidence helps a person in a few important ways.
First, a good measure of confidence in yourself allows you to set boundaries. That means having a firm idea of the behaviors that are acceptable to you when you are dating someone.
Second, and related to the boundary setting, self-confidence gives you the tools necessary to judge whether a relationship is worth keeping or not. When you have low self-esteem, when you judge your worth based on a relationship, it can be difficult for you to see when it’s time to end a bad relationship.
Finally, self-confidence allows you to see love and relationships from an optimist’s viewpoint. Sure, there are bad people out there. But if you spend time and effort looking, there are also good, high-quality men out there.
In short, self-confidence is necessary to attract the right men and to get them to respect you.
How to become more confident while dating
Being confident is not a fixed condition. And by extension, that also means that having low self-esteem shouldn’t be your fate.
Through practice and conscious effort, you can build (and maintain) your confidence while dating. Here are a few helpful tips that can help boost your confidence, whether you are just starting to date or even if you are in a long-term relationship with someone.
Start with yourself
As the adage goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Before you can give love to another person, you have to love yourself first.
That starts by knowing your self-worth. When you have faith in yourself, when you give value to yourself, your happiness no longer relies upon another person’s approval.
As you get back to the world of dating, having self-worth can cushion the blow of rejections. Sure, you can still smart from the pain. But when you value yourself, you’ll be able to bounce back sooner and stronger.
Focus on making a connection
Some people become obsessed with the idea of whether the person they’re dating likes them or not. Having such a mindset can be draining and can only contribute to low self-esteem.
Instead of thinking this way, turn things around and ask yourself whether you like the guy you are dating.
Having this type of mindset puts both of you in an equal position. More importantly, it puts you in a situation where you can make a connection with the other person.
Make the first move
Traditionally, in many cultures around the world, women were assigned the passive role in dating. You might like someone, but you have to wait for the guy to make the first move.
But that rule is outdated. Women have the power to choose the people they want to date.
If you are attracted to someone, why not make the first move? There are things worse than getting rejected.
Stop seeking perfection
There’s nothing wrong with having a list of things you want from a potential partner.
But having such a list can backfire, especially when you are trying to choose a relationship partner.
Nobody is perfect, as tired as that cliche may sound. But it’s true. Give someone a shot, even if he doesn’t tick all the boxes.
He might not be Mr. Perfect, but he can end up being Mr. Right.
Venture out of your comfort zone
You might have a particular type when you are dating. But putting these restrictions can undermine your search for a special someone.
Whether you are using dating apps or meeting new people the old-fashioned way, try moving out of your comfort zone, even just a little bit.
Let people surprise you with what they offer. And what most people have to offer is often beneath their appearance.
The best gift you can give yourself
Getting rejected, entering bad relationships, getting hurt – all of these can take a toll on your self-esteem.
But if you truly want to be in a healthy relationship, you have to take a gamble and meet new people. That doesn’t mean going in blindly for the sake of being in a relationship.
Being confident in yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. You are giving yourself (and your potential partner) a great starting point for your relationship. Without it, it can be hard to navigate dating and relationships.
Believe in yourself and other people, and soon, you will find yourself in the relationship that you’ve always dreamt of.